Happy New Year

As of January 1st, I am officially 3 months out. I'm down 54 pounds and over approximately 34 inches. I'm about 1/3 of the way to my ultimate goal, which after 3 months, is not too bad. I started this journey wearing size 24 pants and 3X tops...now I'm wearing 18 pants (16 in skirts!) and 1X tops.

I've been going back and forth between feeling like I'm doing good to constantly comparing myself to others and their weight loss speed. I don't seem to be moving along as fast as others, but admittedly, I have not been really exercising. I know from experience that exercise has always the key for me to get pounds melting off.

I do worry sometimes that maybe I'm doing something "wrong" or that I've "broken my DS." Intellectually, I know that is ridiculous, but I do beat myself up over why my loss isn't as fast as others.

I've also noticed that my weight loss has a pattern to it--but not like others I've read about. I certainly have much more frequent "stalls." I lose a pound or two or four and then nothing for a week to 10 days. Meanwhile, the inches start coming off even while the scale isn't moving. Then I drop another few and hold for 2 weeks....body shifts again, more inches lost, but no scale movement.

I've been really frustrated, but I'm really trying to look at this pattern as what will be best for the elasticity of my skin. Since I'm not dropping quite so fast, my body has time to catch up. Maybe the loose skin situation won't be as bad as I fear once this all over.

Confessions:

In addition to not really exercising, I have not been as vigilant about my vitamins as I should be. I'm working on it. It is just taking me more time to get into my rhythm than anticipated.

I'm on the scale several times a day. I'm compulsive about it and I wish I could tear myself away.

I'm constantly comparing myself to others' stats. It makes me feel down about my own success, and while I know it is irrational, I can't seem to stop these thoughts.

Surgery may fix your body, but it certainly does not fix your head.

Goals:

My goals for the new year include EXERCISING (my DH and I have joined a gym near our hosue), getting back on track with my vitamins (I have my labs this week, so I'll soon know what the damage is), and to celebrate my continued success and be nicer to myself!

Workin 9 to 5

What a way to make a livin'...

I started back to work last week. Things went better than expected, but I've been seriously worn out. I was so exhausted Saturday that I even missed a dear friend's party that I'd really been looking forward to. Sigh.

I've not been doing so well either regarding vites and water.

I will do better this week.

I will do better this week.

I will do better this week.

Down and Out in Marietta

I'm really down these days. Like really down. I've been feeling very lathargic lately and am wondering if it is a physical manifestation of depression. I don't want to shower, get dressed, put on my face...I certainly don't want to go anywhere. Until 3 days ago, I'd been dragging myself out at least once per day. I skipped yesterday and opted to veg on the couch ALL DAY, which made it much easier to stay in bed ALL DAY today. I'm supposed to go off with my dad and son tomorrow, and I'm afraid I'll make something up just so I can stay home.

I saw my doctor on Monday. He addressed my energy issue as typical--some people just take longer to heal than others. But I'm thinking it is more to it than that. I know the rapid weight loss (27 pounds!) can bring on a hormone shit storm. It is similar to my postpartum crazies, just without all of the sweating!

There were so many things I wanted to do around the house before having to return to work. I haven't done a single one of them. I try to tell myself, "Self, you've just had major surgery. Give yourself a break." Easier said than done.

Today was hard. Hope tomorrow is better.

Have a gouda day!

Little did I know this gadget would change my life....or at least make my day (and my soup).

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000EGC9SG/ref=s9_simz_gw_s0_p79_t1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-4&pf_rd_r=0MKZVA01G8G6AMXD77C8&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470939031&pf_rd_i=507846

I made Shelly's Broccoli and Cheese soup and it was amazing. http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2009/01/chargers-and-soup-two-gouda-things.html It made me so happy because--for the first time in 2 weeks--I felt like I got to eat something "normal." I would have eaten this pre-surgery. It was that gouda!

Only one more week left of the liquid diet. Now armed with my stick blender, I feel like I can conquer the world!